Spreadshirt have just sent me an email warning me to remove all references to a particular sporting event this year. Apparently one of their users is being sued by FIFA for making a teeshirt that says "WORLD CUP 2006, Iran-Angola, I was there".

I can well see that FIFA would want to protect the World Cup brand, and would go after dodgy fake teeshirts. However, they actually have a whole list of "protected" phrases, which apparently you're not allowed to use, the words "World Cup" being one of them. Oops, too late.

T-ShirtSo if you're struggling to find teeshirts about the world cup, look no further. For £20, I will sell you a teeshirt that says "world cup? fifa suck!", and has a picture of the actual world cup* underneath (unfortunately, as Spreadshirt can't make such a thing, so I'll be making them myself. Each one is 100% unique, and I'll even number them for extra exclusivity. The picture is a guide only, actual product may vary. Contact me if you're interested**

Notes: * May not be the actual world cup. ** But please don't contact me if you're a lawyer. *** This is satire, I hope you have a sense of humour. **** If not, no amount of sueing people will fix that. ***** Check out another football related shirt!.

Do you want to read Ralph Reads Porn discreetly? Are you worried about having ralphreadsporn.com all through your IT department's log files next to your name?

Well, worry no more! Visit Microbio.us! It's got all the same content, and your username/password will work there too, but with an innocuous name! (oh, and it's got monkeys too).

Ever since I qualified as a ski instructor, I've had a pair of Oakley sunglasses (it's sort of ski instructor law). They're by far the best glasses I've ever owned - somehow Oakley seem to make their lenses just the right darkness and colour to work well in the sun and the shade (and in my case, on the Tube too ;-).

A couple of weeks back, I managed to scratch the right lens really badly. It was pretty terminal, so I decided to contact Oakley to see what they could do. They couldn't give me any indication of cost until they saw the glasses, which was a shame. However, about a week after sending in my glasses, someone called me to say it would be £49.99 to change the lenses.

I've just received my glasses back. Not only do they have new lenses (the old ones got returned to me too), but also they've got new rubbery bits on the ears (which Oakley call Earsocks or some such), new nose pads, the screws are all tightened up and they've been bent back into shape. In short, they're pretty much new all over again.

Oakley: Not cheap, but you can't fault 'em.

I've had a bit of a 'face meet pavement' moment. Whilst the pavement was indeed lovely, my face came off slightly worse in negotiations.

Normal prettiness will be resumed shortly...

Yeah right: http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/politics/article447792.ece

A story about the theft of identity information from existing databases by government staff - the NIR is just a honeypot waiting to be exploited. As we IT types know: securing data is less than half the problem. Securing people is the majority of the problem, and as good as impossible to do.

Some girls carry a lot of shit about with them (via Kitta).

Lucky I'm so good looking, I don't need all that tat.

RRP Business CardI've started another little project. It's only just started, so it's very small scale at the moment. If you've got time, maybe head over and give me some help!

ralphreadsporn.com - adult porn and erotica stories and podcasts

May the Fourth be with You!

(and if you're in England - get out and vote before 10pm!)

The Royal Mail need a kick up the backside. I complained via their 'contact us' website form back at the beginning of April. Today, I received a 'response' that basically just said "please call 0845....". They didn't answer my questions, nor did they even try to resolve the original problem.

I called 0845whatever, and got told there's no way to have a properly 'location independent postal address' (like a national PO box or whatever). Thus a PO Box is only useful to 'hide' your actual address from your contacts - NOT to help you maintain an address even if you move.

Just as you've probably come to expect of me, I replied to the 'response' complaining about it, and again asking how I can resolve this issue (and if Royal Mail ever intend to offer a resolution). Of course, I don't hold any hope at all, but there's no point moaning unless you do something about it.